a time to sow

By Young Lee Hertig

In one of my favorite books, There is a Season, Joan Chittister quotes an Arab proverb: “Every morning I turn my face to the wind and scatter my seed. It is not difficult to scatter seeds but it takes courage to go on facing the wind.” Chittister continues, “The ability to stand steadfast in the face of opposition is the real charism of the sower.”

Once one accepts a call to sow, then one would rather sow in fertile, not futile soil. Pleading for less toil and snares, we are tempted to seek instant fruits living in this fast-paced success-driven culture. It is this embedded culture of instant success that one is easily tempted to bypass labor of sowing. We live in a society where one’s labor and capital are disconnected. Dangerously, folks in Wall Street made billions of dollars without labor, but simply transacting someone else’s toil that bypasses tax obligation. When the norm is set on high for living like kings and queens, the folks in the main street also mimic extravagant life depending on debt economy—buy now and pay later credit card system.

Marketdom, not Kingdom value has seeped into Christianity with the Church Growth Movement in the mid 80s and ‘90s. It has tracked many pastors who want to see instant result of growth. I am not against growing church. However, what I observed looming danger was its one dimensional aspect of numerical growth. Painfully watching many pastors visiting all the mega churches in the united states, adopting all the programs and formulas for their instant success—the numbers in both membership and offering, leading to all sorts of remodeling and building projects, rather than laboring to offer long term theological reflections that would mark the church in the world.

Three decades later, a key champion of successful Christianity, Bill Hybel’s daring acknowledgement of mistakes in the very foundation of Willow Creeks’ church ministry, finally ushers epiphany toward transforming Marketdom into Kingdom of God. I used the term “marketdom” because Willow Creek church utilized a corporate model of creating a multi-million dollar organization driven by programs and measurement. They have promoted their model to other church leaders for duplication. Based on research by the Executive Pastor, Greg Hawkins, Hybel confessed in October 2007 during the leadership summit:

We made a mistake. What we should have done when people crossed the line of faith and become Christians, we should have started telling people and teaching people that they have to take responsibility to become ‘self feeders.’ We should have gotten people, taught people, how to read their bible between service, how to do the spiritual practices much more aggressively on their own.

Whereas such a confession appears as a wake-up call, the very same measurement-based paradigm remains to be the same. I wonder how we can measure one’s faith let the alone Kingdom of God. Unlike Marketdom, living out the values of Kingdom of God is described in the book of Habakkuk:

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
Though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior (3: 17-18).

Only then, can we face the wind from all different directions without feeling gloom and doom. The moment we live today calls forth prayers of the minor Prophet, Habakkuk to rejoice amidst wind blow and continue to sow knowing that God is sovereign.

Young Lee Hertig, PhD, is an ordained pastor and serves as a professor at seminaries and Christian colleges. She lives with her husband and daughter in Southern California. To contact Young, please send your inquiry to AAWOLblog@gmail.com.

can't hurt to ask

by Joy Wong

I was sitting in class where the topic of discussion was receiving from God. The professor pointed out that receiving from God should be so simple, like a child receiving a gift, but it is often complicated by adults. We often don’t trust the gift or the Giver, suspicious that the gift requires something in return. The professor then asked the rhetorical question, “What could be more precious than coming to God with our needs?”

Without fully understanding why, I found myself fighting back tears at his question. After class, I went to my apartment, let my tears out, and tried to make sense of my emotions. I knew I was often resistant to ask things of God. Memories of my childhood came flooding back to me – instances where I tried to avoid asking for too much by minimizing my needs. For instance, at Christmas, all my friends would ask their parents for expensive gifts, and I would only ask for something minimal and inexpensive, like stickers or candy. Perhaps this stemmed from my Asian American upbringing to avoid being a burden to others. In this case, not being a burden meant not wanting, needing, or asking for anything. There was also a safety in asking for so little – there was less of a chance that I would be disappointed. In addition, I remember taking pride in the fact that I was so easy to please.

Part of me wonders if this also came from my Buddhist heritage from a few generations ago. Buddhists believe that all suffering stems from desire; thus they try to eliminate desire. Perhaps I picked up habits and mindsets inherited from my ancestors. I also suspect that my Asian shame-based culture trained me to minimize my needs for the sake of the collective whole. Moreover, perhaps I have trouble believing in my inherent worth, so that I try to make myself valuable to others by being only a blessing and not a burden. For instance, for a college group icebreaker, I was once asked what fruit I’d want to be and why. My answer was that I wanted to be a seedless clementine – sweet and easy to peel, without any troublesome seeds. In essence, I wanted my life to bring only good to others, and for me, that meant minimizing my needs and desires.

After all these realizations, I began sensing the challenge to get into the habit of asking boldly, extravagantly, and outrageously of God. I am deliberately pushing myself to the extreme in order to compensate for my tendency not to ask. I know I risk disappointment, but I feel urged to ask nonetheless, and to allow God to say yes, no, or wait. In doing so, I am trusting God to accept me with loving arms, validating my whole being – not just the parts I feel are acceptable, but also the parts that I used to consider burdensome. After all, what could be more precious than coming to God with my needs?

As I embark on this new territory, I am recovering pieces of myself that I left behind in my life journey. I’m learning to love and accept all of myself – blessings, burdens, and all.

Joy Wong is pursuing a Masters of Divinity degree at Fuller Theological Seminary. Currently, she is the worship coordinator for the English congregation at Evangelical Formosan Church of Los Angeles. She and her husband live in Pasadena, California. To contact Joy, please send your inquiry to AAWOLblog@gmail.com.

what's love got to do with it?

by Melanie Mar Chow

This past weekend, I was on retreat. I really treasure the quiet times retreats afford. I have learned that, especially in full-time ministry, one has to defend her personal time and space. Without our “God-times,” we would not be able to serve as effective ministers. Without these times, we would not be able to comprehend how much He loves us and the plans He has for people (including ourselves); we would miss out on grasping His heart and his intention.

During this particular retreat, I had the opportunity to spend my treasured 45 minutes alone reflecting on the encounter between Jesus and Peter in John 21, a passage that serves as a very tangible guide for how we ought to interact and “do” ministry with people. From the start of the chapter, Jesus’ love for the disciples was evident. He addressed them as friends in verse 5, and served them by redirecting their attempts to fish. He anticipated and prepared for His time with them; verse 9 tells us that a fire had been prepared in anticipation that the disciples would catch fish, along with appetizers (bread). As the disciples met with Jesus, He fed them both physically and emotionally.

This was the first time Jesus had been with them since His death and resurrection. Jesus proceeded to love them more, especially in His relationship with Peter. Their most recent encounter had been Peter's denial of Jesus. But Jesus wanted to redirect their history and thus spent significant time with Peter. In particular, Jesus thrice asked Peter, “Do you love me?”

I’ve read this passage many times, and my response had often been in step with Tina Turner's trademark song, “What’s love got to do with it?” I find myself asking, in the same emotional tone that Tina employs, “Jesus, why are you asking this of Peter? Don’t you know what’s he’s been through, what he’s experiencing?”

In reading and re-reading this passage, I see what Jesus was doing: He was using that opportunity to capture Peter's attention and to bring Peter's focus back to Himself. I am reminded that indeed, Jesus is (or should be) our focus even as we attempt to be effective in ministry. We need the love of Jesus, and that love has everything do with what we are doing every moment and every minute, as we walk and breathe, even as we serve and love others. Love should be our focus, not our own successes and failures in ministry.

So as we enter the month of secular love and Valentine’s Day, I offer this as a continuation of the reflections that Chloe recently shared. We need to be struck in unexpected moments in order to realize that God’s love has everything to do with our lives and the people we encounter, influence and embrace on a daily basis. May we love as Jesus loves. I’m certainly going to endeavor to do so.

Rev. Melanie Mar Chow serves God through Asian American Christian Fellowship, the campus ministry division of the Japanese Evangelical Missionary Society (JEMS). She has been an ordained American Baptist minister since 2004. A Pacific Northwest native, she currently lives with her husband and daughter in Southern California. To contact Melanie, please send your inquiry to AAWOLblog@gmail.com.

the favored one

by Chloe Sun

God often takes us from familiar contexts to unfamiliar places in order to shake our perspectives about life, to shatter our old belief systems, and to transform our mind and soul. This past December and January, I made a trip to Hong Kong and God did just that.

I spent most of my teenage years in Hong Kong. It was once a familiar place. Ever since I came to the U.S., I have made several trips back home. Every trip seemed to create mixed feelings of old and new as well as familiar and foreign. I was often torn between the two worlds, struggling to find my own identity and a sense of belonging. I often asked, “Where is my real home?”

Several years ago, I started teaching at Logos, a Chinese seminary, which places me in a marginal position in light of the larger American culture and mainstream American seminaries. It was a long journey of wrestling with God and with myself to make sense of this marginality. Last year, I have finally resolved the tension and learned to accept the reality of my status through my trip to Paris last May, which shifted my perspective of center and margin, and through learning from Jesus’ example as a marginal person.

Because of the marginality that I experienced as a Chinese woman teaching in an ethnic seminary in the U.S., I often felt inferior, resentful and not favored by God. However, my recent trip to Hong Kong changed this perspective. Hong Kong is similar to New York City, with high rises and busy city life. It is also similar to Las Vegas in that both places are full of material temptations, entertainment and worldly glory. As I walked on the street of Hong Kong with hundreds and thousands of people everyday, it hit me hard that I was different from the rest of the people in Hong Kong. I was different because I came to the U.S. I was different because I became a Christian and was called by God to serve Him. I could have been ended up just like any of the multitude of people walking on the streets of Hong Kong. Yet God took me away from this island, put me in the U.S., and invited me to be His child. He detoured the whole path of my life.

Now I feel that God’s favor is on me. I feel that I am special in God’s eyes. I did not do anything to deserve God’s favor, yet I am chosen by His grace. What makes me different from the multitude of people walking on the street of Hong Kong is not that I earned God’s favor but because God chose me. I started to internalize God’s love and developed a renewed sense of understanding of what it means to have my identity in God.

Although my outward predicament as a marginal person living in the mainstream U.S. culture has not changed, my inward attitude toward myself and toward God has. I realized that someone who lives at the margin can still be favored by God. This realization empowers me to be more confident in who I am and in what God will accomplish through me. I am indeed fearfully and wonderfully made by God. (Psalm139:14)

Chloe Sun, PhD., teaches Hebrew Scriptures at Logos Evangelical Seminary. She lives with her husband and son in Southern California. To contact Chloe, please send your inquiry to AAWOLblog@gmail.com.

flourishing in the new year

by Beverly Chen

I recently attended an InterVarsity-sponsored faculty, graduate student and professionals conference. "Human flourishing" was the theme. Over 12,000 academics and professionals gathered for over three days to explore God's vision for human flourishing in our world and within our specific disciplines. We began each morning with beautiful music and biblical teaching with N.T. Wright in the book of Colossians.

It seems fitting to reflect upon the theme of flourishing as I begin this new year. Like many of us, I generally start off with lofty goals and resolutions but without sustained discipline, these goals last for a few weeks or months at best. So, instead of giving myself a list of things to do, I thought I would reflect upon and continue to cultivate the practices that enable me to flourish.

The first thing that comes to mind is the gift of relational accountability with trusted friends and family members. I am most disciplined to make something a habit or to break a habit when I know someone else is invested in my growth. Studies show that behavioral change occurs 95% of the times when an individual commits to the change and have accountability. The combination of accountability and prayers from dear friends certainly has been very powerful in giving me the strength to press forward.

Secondly, I want to continue in the discipline of gratitude. Interestingly, N.T. Wright emphasized the theme of gratitude and wisdom in Colossians. He says that "Thankfulness is the deepest fruit of wisdom." Gratitude is not always an easy thing to practice when I hit a wall and find myself in a financial, emotional or spiritual slump. My spiritual director once challenged me to be thankful for three things daily. Even during my worst days, I've found that if I can begin my prayers with gratitude, my attention shifts from my complaints to the wonders I missed all around me that day. Most of the time, I see through my own tunnel vision and forget to look for the broader strokes of God's workings all around me.

There is a beautiful metaphor that Thomas Green paints in his book, When the Well Runs Dry: Prayers Beyond the Beginnings, that has been extremely useful for me in looking for God's action in and around me. He speaks of the prayer journey as moving from swimming to floating. In the beginning, our prayers can entail a lot of work and striving on our part. However, as we grow in our prayer and spiritual journey, prayer becomes effortless, like floating on water. It's been extremely useful to see that when I am in the position of floating, the current of God's grace carries me both in the moment as well as unto new possibilities! I am going somewhere and not stuck when I yield to the Spirit's work in me. But, when I swim and strive for my next goal or destination, I often fail to look up at my spiritual compass. The emotional indicators of weariness, frustration and confusion usually alert me to stop swimming and look up. Gratitude is one of those disciplines that I am learning enables me to simply look up and float on water.

May your inner being flourish with gratitude in this New Year as you receive the gift of relational accountability and experience more of the wonders of God's movement.

Beverly Chen, MSW, LCSW, serves as Assistant Dean of Student Emotional Health of Harvey Mudd College in Claremont, California. She is also an adjunct professor at Azusa Pacific University and has a private practice in Claremont. To contact Beverly, please send your inquiry to AAWOLblog@gmail.com.

having it all

by Joy Wong

"Don't let anyone tell you that you can't have it all. You can have it all—you just can't have it all at the same time." A former female boss of mine used to quote this to me, and it always helped me adjust to the different transitions of my life, whether from college to post-college life, singlehood to marriage, or moving from the east coast to the west coast. Whenever I found myself lamenting a loss of any kind, I often reminded myself that each stage in life had its own unique set of losses and blessings.

However, lately I've been dealing with a dilemma that has been gnawing at me with persistence, but without resolution. As I approach the end of my seminary education, I've been observing my fellow male classmates take pastoral positions in their churches. All of a sudden, these friends with whom I used to consider myself at the same level--sharing notes, borrowing books, struggling through the stress of deadlines, discussing ministry concerns--have now been promoted to the position of "pastor." They wield positions of authority where they are able to speak truth into the lives of many, and make great influence for the kingdom of God within the church.

I contrast their career paths with my own. As my graduation approaches, the number of times I've been asked about my post-seminary career has nearly equaled the amount of times I've been asked when I'm going to have children. Having been married for 2+ years, either the question is asked, or at other times, I am simply told that "it is time to have kids." I am in no way offended or annoyed by the advice, but it does bring up conflicting desires within me. There is no clear solution to the incompatibility of my career aspirations and the expectations of raising a family. An atheist woman once advised me that having children was optional, but in the Christian church, it seems to be an expectation for married women.

For these very reasons, I've recently found it difficult to celebrate myself as a woman. I imagine myself sitting on the sidelines, my time completely occupied with raising a family, while others (mostly women without children or men of any age) get to fully participate in the church arena. I dread my future as a benchwarmer, with all the desire to be part of the action, but with no energy or opportunity—and the idea of it is heartbreaking. Along with all this come fears that my seminary education was a waste of money, or that God made a mistake making me a woman with all the "wrong" interests, abilities, and desires. As indignant as I am at anyone who suggests that church is a man's arena, I find myself fighting the same lies within myself.

However, in the deepest part of myself, I know that God is not One who makes mistakes. I find some comfort in the truth that there is a purpose and a design that I cannot see. I also believe firmly that God is the Creator of our identities, and that if I was made a woman, then that is something that I need to fully accept, embrace, and celebrate, as a reflection of our Creator God. But in all honesty, even with all this in mind, I still struggle.

As with most mind-boggling puzzles, perhaps the key to enlightenment is a paradigm shift. Maybe I need to see the arena of action not as the church, but rather as the kingdom of God in which mothers are fully participating—not as benchwarmers, but as key players. Perhaps some of us have tried too hard to compete with men, and we have not yet discovered how to find equal footing while being fully content with our identity as women. I don't know. The answers are unclear for me, and the future is hazy. Can we have it all? The answer may lie in the eyes of the beholder. Perhaps the real answer is that nobody can have it all—but that we each are allotted different gifts, skills, opportunities, and experiences, regardless of whether we are male or female.

At the very least, I cling onto this hope: that as I navigate the waters of the future in what seems like a thick, impenetrable fog, I am being led by God who sees and comprehends all that I cannot—and in whose goodness I can trust.

Joy Wong is pursuing a Masters of Divinity degree at Fuller Theological Seminary. Currently, she is the worship coordinator for the English congregation at Evangelical Formosan Church of Los Angeles. She and her husband live in Pasadena, California. To contact Joy, please send your inquiry to AAWOLblog@gmail.com.

credit where credit is due

by Debbie Gin

Have you ever wondered why a lot of the work done by women doesn't get much credit? (That is, unless it's women doing "men's" work.)

I grew up in a Korean American household, where my mom did almost everything at home - cooking, cleaning, laundry, vacuuming, trash, yard work, paying the bills, dishwashing, attending to kids' needs, sewing kids' clothes - and worked a full-time job as a graveyard-shift registered nurse. And she was a pastor's wife. She held three full-time jobs but got credit for just one: as a nurse. Thankfully, over the years, my father has come to share some of the household load.

I'm also thankful that my own dear husband has taken on most of the domestic duties in our family, while I handle more of the managerial responsibilities. Yes, our roles are happily reversed! This role reversal in OUR marriage has brought about two subtle shifts in thought: 1) (less so) in the eyes of some "friends," my husband and I have had to prove his worth as a man, and 2) (more so) the "women's work" that my husband does has taken on a whole lot more value or weight.

I recently finished a book called "The Real Wealth of Nations" by Riane Eisler. While I differ with the author in the area of religion and spirituality, I found her ideas on caring and care-giving to be profound. Eisler suggests that societies built on capitalist or communist economies - based on a dominator model - do not allow all members to thrive. She contends that societies built on "care economics" - ones built on a partnership model - will allow all to thrive. In such an economy, the work that is largely done by women (and an increasing number of men) is recognized for the great value it contributes to the well-being of society.

She proposes a different kind of economic map, a more accurate map, one that recognizes what she calls a "full spectrum" of economic activity and relations. In addition to government economy and market economy, she would also recognize natural economy, illegal economy, unpaid community economy, and (at the core of society) household economy. And instead of looking merely at GDP (gross domestic product) or GNP (gross national product), she advocates using QL or QOL (quality of life) - used by the United Nations but rarely by U.S. politicians and policy makers - as the principle measure of our nation's activity and productivity.

I think Eisler's view of a more inclusive economic map should be considered by our government. As an economic novice and a citizen who entrusts economic decision-making to politicians who are often novices themselves, I was glad to hear that, at the suggestion of Michelle Obama, Eisler has been tapped to contribute her voice at the economic advisory board of President-Elect Obama.

I also believe Eisler's economic map should be considered by the Church, especially the Asian American Church. This would require the "sacrifice" of eliminating the common practice of hiring "two-fers" (paying the husband as pastor but getting the wife's work for free). But if we, as followers of Christ, incorporated more of this kind of economics - which, I would argue, follows more closely the model that Jesus left for us - in our philosophy, ministry, and polity, more people both inside and outside the Church would find our message to be authentic and in better alignment with our actions.

Debbie Gin, M.Div. M.Mus., is the Director of Diversity Studies at Azusa Pacific University and an Assistant Professor in Biblical Studies and Ministry at Haggard Graduate School of Theology. She and her husband live in Southern California. To contact Debbie, please send your inquiry to AAWOLblog@gmail.com.