flourishing in the new year

by Beverly Chen

I recently attended an InterVarsity-sponsored faculty, graduate student and professionals conference. "Human flourishing" was the theme. Over 12,000 academics and professionals gathered for over three days to explore God's vision for human flourishing in our world and within our specific disciplines. We began each morning with beautiful music and biblical teaching with N.T. Wright in the book of Colossians.

It seems fitting to reflect upon the theme of flourishing as I begin this new year. Like many of us, I generally start off with lofty goals and resolutions but without sustained discipline, these goals last for a few weeks or months at best. So, instead of giving myself a list of things to do, I thought I would reflect upon and continue to cultivate the practices that enable me to flourish.

The first thing that comes to mind is the gift of relational accountability with trusted friends and family members. I am most disciplined to make something a habit or to break a habit when I know someone else is invested in my growth. Studies show that behavioral change occurs 95% of the times when an individual commits to the change and have accountability. The combination of accountability and prayers from dear friends certainly has been very powerful in giving me the strength to press forward.

Secondly, I want to continue in the discipline of gratitude. Interestingly, N.T. Wright emphasized the theme of gratitude and wisdom in Colossians. He says that "Thankfulness is the deepest fruit of wisdom." Gratitude is not always an easy thing to practice when I hit a wall and find myself in a financial, emotional or spiritual slump. My spiritual director once challenged me to be thankful for three things daily. Even during my worst days, I've found that if I can begin my prayers with gratitude, my attention shifts from my complaints to the wonders I missed all around me that day. Most of the time, I see through my own tunnel vision and forget to look for the broader strokes of God's workings all around me.

There is a beautiful metaphor that Thomas Green paints in his book, When the Well Runs Dry: Prayers Beyond the Beginnings, that has been extremely useful for me in looking for God's action in and around me. He speaks of the prayer journey as moving from swimming to floating. In the beginning, our prayers can entail a lot of work and striving on our part. However, as we grow in our prayer and spiritual journey, prayer becomes effortless, like floating on water. It's been extremely useful to see that when I am in the position of floating, the current of God's grace carries me both in the moment as well as unto new possibilities! I am going somewhere and not stuck when I yield to the Spirit's work in me. But, when I swim and strive for my next goal or destination, I often fail to look up at my spiritual compass. The emotional indicators of weariness, frustration and confusion usually alert me to stop swimming and look up. Gratitude is one of those disciplines that I am learning enables me to simply look up and float on water.

May your inner being flourish with gratitude in this New Year as you receive the gift of relational accountability and experience more of the wonders of God's movement.

Beverly Chen, MSW, LCSW, serves as Assistant Dean of Student Emotional Health of Harvey Mudd College in Claremont, California. She is also an adjunct professor at Azusa Pacific University and has a private practice in Claremont. To contact Beverly, please send your inquiry to AAWOLblog@gmail.com.

the strength of sisters

by Beverly Chen

I met many challenges as the oldest child of immigrant parents. One of the major challenges was being forced to take on parental responsibilities for my younger sister because my parents were busily working long hours at their restaurant. Their business had placed tremendous emotional toll on their marriage and on their relationship with their children. My sister and I had to take care of ourselves without much guidance or supervision. While I became the caretaker and peacemaker in the family, my sister voiced her frustration and anger with the family by acting out in various ways in high school. In many ways, her behavior served as a wake-up call for the whole family. It forced us to be honest and real with one another. It gave us permission to examine the various underlying unmet needs, frustrations and emotional isolation we had all experienced for many years.

These challenges were the impetus for my desire to pursue psychology in college and eventually a career in mental health. In college, I was deeply impacted by a course on Asian American families. At the time, the course felt very much like God's gift of personal therapy. It opened my eyes to the many hidden shame and struggles common to many Asian American families. It was such a relief to know that I was not alone in my identity and family struggles! I became aware of the array of mental health issues that exist in the church when my professor shared her research on the secret presence of domestic violence in many Korean American Churches. I felt my heart break over the things I experienced and heard. At the same time, I also felt convicted in my desire to see God's healing go forth in my family and other Asian American families in the church. I am grateful that throughout my college, graduate school and professional journey, I have seen the awesome transformative power of God to heal and restore individual lives and family relationships.

I got involved in AAWOL because I believe that there is still a lot of shame and stigma towards mental health in Asian American churches and families. AAWOL creates a place for me to give voice and to empower other Asian American women in the church to obtain the support and healing they need. It has been exciting to have the professional network to serve alongside other AAWOL sisters in our respective spheres of influence, but more importantly, I have appreciated the personal friendships and mentoring that I have been able to cultivate with my sisters in AAWOL. The times that I've spent with them -- whether formally at a retreat or informally over a meal -- have strengthened and renewed our soul. Through our personal stories and prayers, we have been able to connect on a deeper level and I have felt energized to serve and lead in greater capacity.

I am so grateful for the strengths, wisdom and gifts that my AAWOL sisters bring to me and for the reminder that I never lead alone, but always in community. I hope you will share your gifts with us and join the AAWOL network!

Beverly Chen, MSW, LCSW, serves as Assistant Dean of Student Emotional Health of Harvey Mudd College in Claremont, California. She is also an adjunct professor at Azusa Pacific University and has a private
practice in Claremont. To contact Beverly, please send your inquiry to AAWOLblog@gmail.com.